The best (edited mainly for the last stanza)
The rude awakening. Her hand slams down on the button.
An hour to the second: styled straightened hair, blush in place, and flawless ensemble.
Strapped heels on, she marches out of her carpeted living room.
“Non-fat iced coffee, please” As usual, the barista winks at her.
Enveloped by the crowds, she briskly paces, anxiously nibbling at her nails.
8:30- not a second later, she waves cheerfully to the guard.
She is never late, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
The time has come. Twenty pairs of beady eyes stare with anticipation.
A week of long sleepless, caffeine filled, computer screen lit nights.
She takes her place at the head, sweat dripping down her back.
“Thank you for all coming”, she finally begins to speak.
Her legs quiver as she impeccably delivers her proposal.
Nods of approval throughout, and a round of applause at the closing.
Drained, she flashes a short-lived smile
She is never unsuccessful, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
6 PM. As expected, her phone rings as she logs off her computer.
“I’d love to see you. Can I pick you up at 7?”
A romantic candle lit dinner for two.
She picks at the greens on her plate, choosing the iced water instead.
Avoiding his gaze, she inquires about his day.
He looks at her with questioning eyes, searching for answers.
She grabs his hand, forcing a laugh as he holds her close.
She is never upset, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
It's way too late. The slam of the door, her hand shuts the wood behind her.
Raw swollen toes, hair at all odds, mascara running, wrinkled button down.
The emptiness of the room startles her.
She turns on the television, a weather report to calm her nerves.
Mind still racing, she crumples into her bed.
A dog barks, the sirens wail, and the drunkards celebrate down on the street.
Inside? Silence. Only her thoughts to keep her company.
They expect the best.
The rude awakening. Her hand slams down on the button.
An hour to the second: styled straightened hair, blush in place, and flawless ensemble.
Strapped heels on, she marches out of her carpeted living room.
“Non-fat iced coffee, please” As usual, the barista winks at her.
Enveloped by the crowds, she briskly paces, anxiously nibbling at her nails.
8:30- not a second later, she waves cheerfully to the guard.
She is never late, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
The time has come. Twenty pairs of beady eyes stare with anticipation.
A week of long sleepless, caffeine filled, computer screen lit nights.
She takes her place at the head, sweat dripping down her back.
“Thank you for all coming”, she finally begins to speak.
Her legs quiver as she impeccably delivers her proposal.
Nods of approval throughout, and a round of applause at the closing.
Drained, she flashes a short-lived smile
She is never unsuccessful, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
6 PM. As expected, her phone rings as she logs off her computer.
“I’d love to see you. Can I pick you up at 7?”
A romantic candle lit dinner for two. Can a girl ask for more?
She picks at the greens on her plate, choosing the iced water instead.
Avoiding his gaze, she inquires about his day.
He looks at her with questioning eyes, searching for answers.
She grabs his hand, forcing a laugh as he holds her close.
She is never upset, she can’t be.
They expect the best.
The slam of the door, her hand shuts the wood behind her.
Raw swollen toes, hair at all odds, mascara running, wrinkled button down.
Can I be late?
Can I be unsuccessful?
Can I be upset?
A dog barks, the sirens wail, and the drunkards celebrate down on the street.
Inside? Silence. Only her thoughts to keep her company.
They expect the best.
But is she?
I think this was your "best" poem in my opinion. I loved it so much in so many ways: i think the story was so powerful and something all people (even men) can relate to. I also loved the repetition at the end of each stanza, I think it brought the whole poem together, made it clear and dramatized the event.
ReplyDeleteI think in the future maybe just continue to use the descriptive terms that you usually use, in the beginning i believe its okay to say terms that arent as descriptive but maybe be more descriptive once the audience knows whats going on.
Amazing amazing amazing JOB!!!